Saturday, March 28, 2009

'Thou shall never Kill'

during calm hours,
before a twister,
an exodus of ants
try to cross
a hissing proboscis..

sad,real and tragic.
poetic possibilities.
surreal soup for souls...
but
i switched off the vaccum cleaner and waited till they cross.

boring and non rhyming,
this poem is declared dead.

family reach anthill
'thou shall never kill'.

40 comments:

Old Monk said...

Hats off to you.....for switching off the vaccum cleaner...for that kindness and patience...I wish these qualities still existed.

Salil said...

MIP,
Profound but simple, as usual.
But I am sorry to confess that I do kill. Time, that is. And a lot of it too.
Keep them coming.
Cheers,
Salil

Winnie the poohi said...

LOL! that was funny.. it started as surreal write and ended in humor.. lovely!

The Seeker said...

Yeah!!! I did imagine MIP with a vacuum cleaner, and then decided to shut it off.. But If I can take liberty, The poem is full of life...

brocasarea said...

simple and v good messge!!:)

Devika said...

I loved this one, MIP
when messages are conveyed it doesn't matter whether it rhymes or not...and this message should never die :)

I used to kill, and then i read about Tagore, who would spent hours to gently save an ant that would get caught in his long curly beard....and thereafter I stopped all intentional killings...

But, Mosquitoes get a beating....i don't look whether they die or not....especially when i am immersed in reading! :)

wishes,
devika

Kartz said...

Just a question. Shdnt it be "thou shall never kill"?

twister/hissing proboscis... Whoa! Never came close to imagining a vacuum cleaner! Awefreakinsome!

Peace. Have a nice weekend.

Prabhu Dutta Das said...

Profound guise?

The patience or the curiosity?

The ants or the heart bugs?

(¯`•._.•[Raaji]•._.•´¯) said...

wow.. very well written!

Yogesh said...

This is different from what you usual dole out.

You will soon find your house infested with ants and cockroaches if you choose not to kill them :)

Akshaya Kamalnath said...

Wow new stuff in the same MIP style coming thru...lets hope 'thy shall not kill' rule is follwed at all levels.

Ani said...

hehe nice one :)

Rakesh Vanamali said...

You are a shining example of true power! And do you know what true power is? let me explain..... true power is knowing that you can, but not doing it!

Hats off to people like you!

Meghna said...

WOW!!!

u have a real different style MIP... love it :)

siddhu said...

Nice one MIP!!!!cho chweet of u!!!

AshenGlow said...

Just finished reading A Thousand Spendid Suns..
And your poem came as a stark contrast to the poignant tale of torment on already harried human souls.
It's the God within us which comes out as Goodness.Aint it...

Sighing...
Ashen

Niti said...

:) nice...made me smile..

d gypsy! said...

a solid message indeed

sadaf said...

nice strong message in this simple writen poem...

Praveen said...

only a few will have the heart to think of switching off the vacuum cleaner...

loved it a lot:D

ps- circumstances forces people to kill:)

Shravan said...

ahh.. awesome awesome, and awesome.. in love with your poems, am blof rolling u :)

Jeevan said...

beautiful! this shows me who well u observed!

Mampi said...

Wow, what a twist.
I almost gasped.

Vinnie said...

MIP,
enjoyed reading this...but really difficult to implement!
short,stark reality poem this...not at all declared dead!

human being said...

each thought dances a different dance...
each poem builds a new bridge...

thou shall never kill...

rahul said...

really nice dude :p..think the ants will be singing this except going to the anthill might hurt them a lil!!

Cinderella. said...

LOL !!

LOved it !!

Little Girl Lost said...

hissing proboscis... i loved that :)

Priya said...

A very experiential poem with an interpersonal touch!

Heart'n'Soul said...

OH WOW!!!

Damn i missed ya... n now i know why

gr8 work as ever :)

Suspended Animation said...

Hey MIP,

I've moved to http://www.shantanuadhicary.com/blog

Keshi said...

u r so patient, kind and caring!!

Keshi.

Debasish.. said...

I had no doubts, ur truly "SAINTLY" :D

Gauri Gharpure said...

a unique mix of conflict of nature with technology.. one suck would have been enough to kill what you have called 'a family'..

tunafish said...

Ah!... I see a halo forming over your head :) and an award by maneka gandhi ;) but on a serious note so nice of you to feel towards all living things- size doesn't matter!

workhard said...

So the twister is the vacuum cleaner.. u kind enough to spare them...


Poetry directory

Gautam Anand said...

In one word ..classic..

Usha Pisharody said...

Lessons and stories in this one!

I do this sometimes, when I have time to kill, else ... :(

As always, the words pack a punch, and as always they come dressed in some superb metaphor and surreal imagery :)

Brosreview said...

A strong message here. A different take expressed differently as well. Nice job!!!

Som said...

:) Do you seriously think that a poem has to be rhyming to be alive ?! It should have emotions ...